Sunday, January 24, 2016

Procrastination Station

When getting to know a person and you are in the question phase, which one are you? Are you more interested in the BIG questions or the simple things and details questions?

The big questions to me would be: Where do you live? What do you do for a living? Where are you from? Do you have any siblings?

The simple things and details questions to me would be: What is your favorite ice cream? Did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? What is your next exciting destination you want to travel to? What is your favorite thing to do when you are bored? Morning person or evening/night person?

As you can see, I am the simple things and details person.

When I meet someone I am much more apt to remember what their favorite muffin flavor is than their name.

I have some family members ask me about a new acquaintance and just want to know the basic big questions everybody asks... and I have a good chance of not knowing... because I just didn't think to ask.

I was thinking today... If you love someone, it should be evident. This month I have been thinking that if I don't know, I should look to Jesus. Jesus made it very evident that he loved us and God. I looked up evident, it said manifest. I looked up manifest, it said  made known. I want to make known who I love, it is important.

I hope it isn't just evident to me who I love, but others can see it too.


Why is it... when I really need to get something done I go into procrastination station and stay there a while... All at once it becomes the most fascinating place I could be. Everything is so fresh and sparkly. The colors are brighter, the music is more serene or carefree and happy! The food near you becomes tastier! Then while you are in this euphoric state you glimpse outside the window... it is dark and gloomy with a deadline flashing a unpleasant color ( you are free to choose your own color at this point we are still in the procrastination fun zone.) Talk about horrible advertisement of reality.


Whyyyyyyyy I still have coins to spend and food to eat and music to dance to and 150 zillion things that are so much more awesome to do than those dreadful unpleasant things over there... near by.... why are they getting closer?!!! Nooooo

Yet again, responsibility has attacked... Next time folks we will be better prepaid... said every procrastinator on the planet...

I just claim that procrastinators like to live in the moment right?! Or that they just make the last minute count just a whole lot more that anyone ever thought it could. They get the most out of the last moment, quality seekers if you will... ?

I have to find something wonderful about being a procrastinator... surely.

The moments taken away from responsibility do seem extra sweet don't they?

Grrr the Responsibility Train has come to my station to pick me up ....  Well then, till next time!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Reflection

Wow, has it really been  4 years since I last posted something?! 

My life has changed so much... Yet, at the same time it is easy to feel scattered, confused, and insecure even with all the growth a person may encounter. 

I will have to catch you up on my life somehow without making it sound droll. Maybe I will someday, but today isn't the day for that particular history lesson. 

Looking back on my old post, I realize something. I realized how much writing can do for a person. For me, it accesses a part in me that is particular reflective. You can say something and think anything that really comes to mind. These particular thoughts might not easily flow into a daily conversation...but when writing, they just seem to fit. 

Perhaps writing only has the cap you put on it, it can be boundless. Why is it then that I haven't took the time to access this freedom of "thought speech" in such a long time? 

Going back to being reflective... ahem... yes, I am random.... yes, I have A.D.D. so bare with me. :) 

Ahem... Reflective...It is somewhat hard to be reflective. Reflecting takes time, it makes you look at yourself...and sometimes that isn't the easiest... it also can shine a new light on old things. 

Just think how much more improved and new my life may of felt it I just took time to reflect and appreciate. 

A new goal. Be more reflective and write the reflections, either here or somewhere. To mark a memory or feeling to spend time on the simple things in life, because when it is all said and done... What is it that you really want or cherish? 

My Grandpa, passed a few years ago. He was one of the best people I have ever met. I am sure I will reflect on my Grandpa more while blogging. He is too important not to mention.

It is interesting how much we can learn from a memory. Perhaps I don't put enough weight in memories. Should I just be living in the past, no. Should I always want to be thinking how I could of done things differently on the things I didn't have any control over... probably not. Although, there is a lot to be said about the lessons we have learned and to not forget them within our memories. 

Reflect... I think I will... 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Another step...

There are times in your life when you look back ... and say... what? What just happened? Did whatever happen, happen so fast? It hardly has felt as it I have started and I am changing again, it is just like air. It comes and goes, and you need it for the second you have it to live, but the moment gets lost with the world spinning around you so incredibly fast. A whirlwind as "they" call it , the "world". Doesn't a whirlwind come, pick things up around it and then shoot it out whenever it decides to stop spinning?... Perhaps... How does this pertain to my life? There is a line in the movie "Disterbia" where the main actor tells the lead supporting actress that he watched her from the distance and he liked how she looked in the mirror. She didn't look in the mirror like other girls to see how pretty she was, or if she looked "just so" to go out into public, but really looked at herself. She looked at herself and really asked, "Who am I?" That line has stuck with me. I find my self looking in the mirror... my reflection and wonder what I see. Really, it depends on the day to see what the mirror reflects. The mirror is still in the same place, yet the view or perspective changes. That question of "Who am I really?" comes up quite often. It is not like I am completely lost in the big picture, it is just the little details are tedious and take time to figure out. The big picture is so massive and huge, yet sometimes it seems simpler, at the same time unreal, and untouchable... perhaps it is because it is still missing the details.

I have missed many blogs that should of been posting... will I fill in the crack to what block I am standing on? Maybe, I feel uncomfortable giving promises that I am unsure I may keep. I talked to a girl on the plane today. She was talking about getting a job and getting an apartment. She was tired of the relentless interviewing and filling out applications. Then, the question comes, where do you see yourself in 5 years. Ahhh that is the question isn't it. Why do people ask that question?!... Do they ask it to see if we will tell them what they want to hear, or the truth? I have no idea where I will be in 5 years!... Ahhh you don't know? Then you are not a visionary... hmmm pffff perhaps I am, and the big picture has no time line. They never see it that way. How about one of these days I'll say, well...that depends on if you give me this job or not. Each person we meet has an impact on our life, just like the choices we make.

I just got done watching an episode of the "Bachelor", there was a blogger on the show. That was her profession. She called herself the analyzer. She seemed wacked and lacking self confidence. She was beautiful, but her insecurities flowed out of her like a thread spool caught in the sewing machine wadding into a complete mess. I really hope that I don't come off that way... I suppose since I do have a blog now that I am considered a blogger, sending my thoughts and opinions full out into the virtual void. Lovely... I am grouped with her some how. Oh well, at least she got a rose at the end of the day. Not anybody can go crying into a bathroom and come out smelling like a "rose"... hahaha Why are puns so fun to make? Perhaps because the person making them gets the most humour out of them. Nobody else hardly thinks they are as funny as the pun giver... you will usually find the "punner" smirking at (what seems like a stroke of genius) ahhh ohhh well to each his own (* as I say smirking).

In life and wine, there must be growth, inconsistent weather, tender love and care, some stagnant times...(the fermenting), patience, tweaking, and then at the end of the day/life/wine... you hope it comes out with some zest, character, a good story, and a smile on your face for getting the pleasure to meet and greet it.
Here's to the next step, the unknown stone I stretch my foot out to meet.
Cheers,
... to be continued...

Saturday, October 22, 2011

A bump on a log...

My mother's quote... "a bump on a log" is how I feel... I sit here and imagine well if I am a bump on log how would I look? Do I have moss on me, am I rolling down a river, do I have the hot spot in town where people come from all around to sit on me? I wonder what all the bump sees other than bums of peoples backside? Just chills out and observes... maybe I am a bump on a log.

Did you know you could be a follower of your own blog? Yup, you can, just did! haha Now I have four followers including myself... I'm cool (brushing the shoulder). No, seriously life it good. STILL looking for a job. I feel soooooooo at the mercy of others... do you have experience? "No, but if you just let me work for you I will!!!" Simple right? Why don't they just see that?

Today I thought of my "age group" is like middle school/junior high all over again, when you are in the awkward ugly age and puberty is having a go at embarrassing and controlling your mind and body. This is it folks, puberty all over again...just in another form. Life is getting awkward yet another time... Sooooo what are you doing with your life? What are your plans? What are  you doing now? What are you wanting to do in the future? Do you want to have kids? Do you have a boyfriend? No? OH, why not? So are you in school? Do you have a degree? What degree do you have? Are you going to do anything with it? Why kind of jobs are you looking for? Yes... as you can see I can go on forever. Does "AWKARD" ever come up? Does the urge of yelling "I DON'T KNOW, STOP ASKING ME" come up...ever? Ohhh all the time? Yes, I don't know... and I want it to be okay that I don't know, but little do I feel that. Society has the pressure. Then, when you try to escape society you are either running from responsibility or "not living in reality".

I think I should change the topic. In my time off, I have had a lot more time to read my bible! I have been reading in Mark lately... Sooooo rich with wisdom. I have so much to work on and dedicate to. I want to pray as if I will receive instead of just hoping. I know now that hoping is not trusting it is just hoping.

I also am learning how to make a pillow case!! Baby steps... but I am so happy to take them!
Sooo if you are wondering the question that I am able to answer... Am I happy????!! YES, I am :) If I don't know the answers to the prior questions I can't answer yet, then I am not ready to know. :) Faith, trust and patience my friends... ---> (a finger pointing to me too.)
In Mark it says "fear not, only believe"... that is my mantra lately, it is my mantra because I repeat it in my head as often as I remember it. I don't want to forget it. Thankful for the holy spirit that helps us with remembrance.

Planning on going on a fun trip in the new future!! Will be happy to write about it soon!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Time flies when you don't have a job.

Wow... It has been ages since I have last wrote on the blog. Not as bad as my diary...but bad none the less! So I have been kind of failing at putting up pictures and writing about food... but I have been busy!!! :D

Since I last wrote to you I have been to three church conventions, met countless amounts of people ( who I could probably tell only a fraction of the names, been applying to jobs, hiking, been to Portland for a few days and enjoyed my self to the fullest in the culinary world of coffee and food, oh... and I turned a year older!

Each of those topics could have soooooooo much written about them. I am sorry I haven't written, cuz then I could conjure up yummy juicy stories along with them, but as you can see, I have not.

Right now in my life... I still have no job :P I tell people who ask how I am doing that, " I feel like a bum, but I am a happy bum." Jobs are hard to find/hard to get around here. Everybody is looking for one. Right now my goal is to become/learn how to become a barista. I want to accumulate that knowledge for now and later in my life. I feel as if will become very useful. Now, if someone would hire me :) ... they don't know what they are missing out on. :)

There was a lady but the name of Sara that said that she would love to teach me how to sew!!! Yes ladies and gents... I may this year, learn how to make something my very own! Whooohoooo! Well I am this excited now... lol we shall see what the end product will look like! :P High hopes everyone!

When I was at Portland I saw a lot of homeless people. It really touched me. Poverty is so alive. There was one man, who really touched me, (I don't know if he was homeless or not). He was an older man using a decorated cane with stuffed toys key chains and random assortments. He had a soft kind face with tears in his eyes. He looked right at me as I walked by with my aunt and said, "I love you both". He asked for nothing, just walked right along. I could feel his sincerity flowing out of him. All I did was smile, thank, and tell him I liked his cane. We were in no hurry, I wonder if the old man was just lonely, had a sad day, or the best day in his life... either or, I wish I would of asked if I could of bought him a cup of coffee and tell him I appreciated his true sincerity.

There are a few times in your life that you remember moments and wonder why or why not you did or did not do anything with the moments later. Ask yourself, what have I learned, how can I use this in the future? I truly believe that God's people should be the most friendly people in the world. We are happy debtors, paying each day to the Lord through our service. I know I lack in this so much. Many times I have very good intentions, but lack the follow through. I really want to work on this, this year and the years that follow.

There was a homeless man that had come up to us and said he was hungry, so we got him some food... he also said he was cold and was seeking a hat and a coat. I had a stocking hat on, but it was a girl's. I didn't offer it to him because of that...I wish I would of, I don't think he would of minded. It made me think after, am I really willing to give all to God or do I think of excuses not too? He could of probably gone to the Mission to get his needs met. My aunt said that the some of the homeless people choose not to go the Mission. If that is so it is usually because they have to hear about God when they go, and they don't want to hear.

Well, that is all for tonight! Hope to keep you posted on the latest and greatest! :D Cheers

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Oh the adventures I have had since Thursday!!!

I can hardly believe all that has happened since I last blogged on Thursday before we went to Salem. Soooo I am going to try to sink back into my mind and remember the moments to share. Once we (Ainslee, Ashley, and myself) made it into Salem we stopped at the gallery my aunt works at, ( Mary Lou Zeek Gallery). I cannot believe it has been basically a week since that day. We met up with a local named Mike and he helped tour us around Salem. We walked over to the water front and crossed the bridge, ate our lunches, went and had great gelato, purchased local bars of soap, and stopped in random unique boutiques. Got a parking ticket lol yup... $ 15, cheaper than I thought it would be! Then headed to the state capitol played a bit of frisbee in the front lawn to practice my hardly existing frisbee skills ;). After playing frisbee for a while Ashley started to crave a hamburger, so we tried out the local burger place the (Willamette Burger Company). They had really good onion rings!

On Friday we headed to Cape Lookout! This hike you need to started in the mountain and hiked down towards the beach! What a great destination right?! We took the dogs and they had a grand time chasing each other in the sand. While Ash, Ains, and I had fun taking fun pictures and soaking up the moment. The view was breath taking. This hike has been my favorite hike so far in OR. After we got done scarfing down the snacks we brought, I was craving creamy clam chowder. Which, I did find along with fresh rock fish, topped mango salsa tacos, and an onion ring tower! After we were done looking at Hay Stack rock we went to a more deserted beach where we watched the sunset melt into the ocean. Although I won't forget the interesting random entertaining dog that went crazy with energy chasing the waves back and forth. :)

Saturday, wow where do I start on this day?! Ok, welllllll we started with Ashley missing her morning coffee so,  we stopped at Broadway coffee in Salem. They had at least 4 different kinds of chai you could try!!! I got a green tea chai! I am very excited to be able to try all the kinds and determine my favorite! :) After off we went to the Portland Saturday Farmers Market!! The street was having a college graduation where the normal market was usually hosted, so we had a quick hot flash of sadness until a few seconds later a lady told us that the market was a block the other direction. The street was bustling with busy people looking, smelling, tasting, and eager to find the next treasure for their kitchen and taste buds. I had a ice cream sandwich that had a lemon sugar cookie with honey lavender ice cream! It was WONDERFUL, it was from Ruby Jewell's a local ice cream shop in Portland! Then I had a home made artichoke and cheese tamale with pico de gio (sp) salsa, sour cream and cilantro. My goodness it was so good with delicious pear cider to help wash it down. My aunt spotted out lemon dessert bars. Wow, the zesty flavor pinged around on my tongue! There were also tons of singer song writers along the walk ways of the markets that floated music to our ears the whole day half of our day. Then we headed over to the water front merchandise local vendors. There was so much to see! We were all pleasantly overwhelmed by the tempting options. We walked by the famous Voodoo doughnut shop, the paying customers were flooding the sidewalk and wrapping around to try to get a fresh unique treat. Then after we went into the restaurant PIN, I had the best Taiwan food! We tried an assortment of dishes, it was made family style, (better for sharing)! This was the first time I had duck, it was  dark brown around the edges and a rosy pink in the middle with a wonderful, powerful, juicy flavor! Then we went in and out down the streets and saw an intriguing place for drinking chocolate! We took the sample platter, it had dark chocolate chili, cinnamon milk chocolate, and dark chocolate with a hint of cinnamon drinking chocolate! Talk about rich, but ultra smooth sips of deep delight. Next, we went into this massive book store called Powell's book store. I bought a book made to write your pros on one side and cons on the other for help decision making. The book was a much needed purchase for as much I contemplate my choices. Then we headed home...what a great day! :)
Ohh... the day hasn't ended! Once we got home us girls were talking about Olympia convention and decided at 11pm that night to get up at 6, to pack, get the address, and go the following morning. Once we decided we were going to Olympia we made it into another road trip and whet to Seattle and stayed with Ashley's aunt for the night! Our adventurous spirits wanted to tour Seattle's Pike Place Market on Monday! Along with the Snoqualmie Falls (sp)!

Sunday we go up earlyyyyy to make sure we had everything packed and ready to go, but before we could really get going we needed to get some fuel for the car. I had no idea that on Sunday OR shuts the pumps off until 7pm. We wanted to leave Salem by at least 6:00 - 6:30 ish. Finally by the third gas station we could fill up. (The law in OR doesn't allow the public to pump their own gas.)   Ainslee took the reins and drove while Ash and I passed out in the car for about an hour. We made it to convention with about 45 mins - 1 hour to spare, perfect timing. We felt so out of place not knowing one person, quite an unusual feeling for me, (who loves to be a social butterfly). Soon after lunch I could no longer be shy, I went up to a circle and made some acquaintances from WA, then about an hour and a half later I met some of the friends from Portland. The new acquaintances we made invited us to go to Red Robin to hang out a bit after convention.  It seemed like there was about 20 or some of us at the table. The hang out time was a lot of fun, but when it got to be around 8pm we decided that we better head to Seattle. Ashley took the driving seat to thrusted head on into the aggressive driving in Seattle. We made it to her aunt's safe and sound and hit the bed as soon as we could.

Monday morning was very relaxing and headed downtown Seattle around 9:30 in the morning. I thought  Portland's farmers market was big? This market was HUGE! There was food everywhere! Of course we went to the gum wall, that was insane! I have never seen so much gum! It was not the best idea to go and see it before we ate though lol . While we were looking for the taco place that Ash was wanting, we stopped for some superb greasy doughnuts! Ahhhhhhhhhh food is soooooo wonderful!  The weather the whole time since we had come over to the west coast had been perfect! That day in Seattle they had predicted rain and it was super sunny and gently warm! We couldn't of asked for a better day!!!! Then after we had the taco's, the Space Needle was the next destination! We couldn't wait to get to see and take pics of the famous architecture! It was very cool, I now see why it is such a big deal! :) After the eventful day were were pooped out! We headed back home and basically died on our beds.

Tuesday we were up bright and early again! Kayaking down the Willamette River! The friends we met from Portland were teasing us about choosing the Willamette to kayak, but honestly I do not think they know what they were talking about. The river was beautiful! We did have a bit of confusion with our soon demoted tour guide Ashley lol. Poor Ash, we had some comical ( to Ainslee and I) dilemmas. Did some switching of the kayaks and headed against the current for at least 3 1/2 miles that took about 2 hours and 15 mins and then 3 1/2 miles back that took about 1 hour. From the time we got the the rental place and back was about 4 hours. We ended up taking the wrong route, all of us were wrong in the direction were were supposed to be going, hahah. Athough, it was actually tons of fun and I can not wait to get to do it again! :) To relax Ashley's and my arms, (Ains was fine) we searched out for some food! We went into Sellwood, OR and ate at Jade which I had a coconut milk, shredded chicken, shrimp, and rice noodle soup for lunch, lovely. Bought wonderful alligator sock and over the knee high socks at this AMAZING  store called Dream Socks! We ran a few errons for my aunt and then headed home!  We were soooooo wonderfully exhausted!

Today was an adventure trying to get all of Ashley's things into her bag! We succeeded! Then we headed to Portland and ate at Por Que No a hole in the wall eatery , best taco ever! I had a calamari and a pork taco that blew my mind away and a strawberry, cantaloupe, and peach juice that was wonderfully light! While walking around we saw the ice cream shop that had the honey lavender ice cream I had at the Sat. market, Ruby Jewell's! Yes, we stopped in and I had a excellent vanilla waffle cone with salted carmel and dark chocolate fudge scoop of ice cream! Ahh the smell of the vanilla cones wafted outside along with the cool sweet cream! I can not wait to try other flavors! My aunt got a scoop of mint chocolate flake and they used real mint in the ice cream! After meandering the street and picking up raw green coffee beans that you can toast yourself, we had to head back to the car to go to the airport. :( We made it just one hour before the girls had to catch there flight, which was plenty of time for them to get to their gate! They texted me not too long ago and said they had a safe flight! :) I miss them already :( , but I know they are extremely close to me, no matter the distance. 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

We'll figure it out.

Yes, the title is accurate. That has been the main saying this whole trip. There is soooo much I have to write about that has happened from the moment I got in the car and till now. There wasn't a whole lot of blogging time and I have been so busy. Where should I start? I took off to CO Aug. 6th spent the night and went to church with my grandparents on Sunday. Then I made my way to Elizabeth to pick up Ainslee. When I got to her house after stopping in and picking up my winter clothes, there was only room for two people. Three people were going to OR, we had a problem and the problem was "my stuff". Ainslee whipped out the compression bags and fit my scarfs and hats into (I thought was as full as a full trunk could be.) Kudos to Ains for sure. :) , through reorganizing we did it. Off we went sitting on rolled out sleeping bags and packaged like a can of sardines. Here we go. We met with up with Ashley in Greeley with welcoming signs stuck up with bandaids. The next morning we filled up the tank and went through WY, UT, and ID. We stopped in Twin Falls ID, which was 7 miles away from the interstate. We found a treasure. It was one of the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It was a massive canyon and a base jumper caught our attention when he was about to jump off the bridge (and of course a took a quick photo opt.) :) We would of never found this "treasure" if it hadn't been for our stomaches :) . Then the next morning Ash got in the driver seat and drove 11 hours straight! ahahaha She said she was enjoying herself so much and she really didn't know why. Then later when we were about 30 miles from our destination and she figured it out. " It is because I am not so used to driving a car that drives the way it is supposed to!" Ashley you are a trooper, I give you props. When were were about 25 miles from Portland , OR we stopped at Mutanomah falls. It was a wonderful stop to stretch out sardine packed legs. The whole trail was paved and there was a suspension bridge place in front of the waterfall. The temperature marking 74 degrees, perfect. We made it to Dallas on Tuesday the 9th around 8 pm and had supper at my aunt and uncle's very welcoming home. I am sorry to say that I have not taken any pictures of food yet!!!! Shame on me! The food has been wonderful. So far we have had a lot of food with a Mediterranean twist :) Yummmmmmmmm. I promise to be better in the future! Yesterday we got up and really slowly and wonderfully, ate breakfast under the morning rays on the deck. Then, we went to pick BLUEBERRIES at a you pick farm! We picked 18 lbs of berries in 40 mins! Soooo relaxing, loved being so close to nature and eating the fruit it brought forth for me to enjoy warmed by the sugary sun rays. Later we went to Drift Creek Falls, which also had a waterfall and a suspension bridge as well. The smell of the levitated wood brought security to the moment. We came back home after the hike with the dogs and my aunt made us amazing individual pizza's with calamata olives, cherry tomatoes, caramelized onions, garlic, sweet miniature orange and yellow bell peppers cut in long strips, basil pesto, several different kinds of cheese, and crispy flat bread. After we tainted our breath with garlic we went to go meet some of the locals in Salem for church, very friendly :) We made our acquaintances over homemade ice cream. Today is our free day... we are just sleeping in, munching on GOOD food, :) and in hope of an adventurous day looking around Dallas and Salem. We have a park and waterfront area with a picnic worked in that looks very appealing for a low key day. :)

Pictures  will be posted soon :) ... stay tuned.