There are times in your life when you look back ... and say... what? What just happened? Did whatever happen, happen so fast? It hardly has felt as it I have started and I am changing again, it is just like air. It comes and goes, and you need it for the second you have it to live, but the moment gets lost with the world spinning around you so incredibly fast. A whirlwind as "they" call it , the "world". Doesn't a whirlwind come, pick things up around it and then shoot it out whenever it decides to stop spinning?... Perhaps... How does this pertain to my life? There is a line in the movie "Disterbia" where the main actor tells the lead supporting actress that he watched her from the distance and he liked how she looked in the mirror. She didn't look in the mirror like other girls to see how pretty she was, or if she looked "just so" to go out into public, but really looked at herself. She looked at herself and really asked, "Who am I?" That line has stuck with me. I find my self looking in the mirror... my reflection and wonder what I see. Really, it depends on the day to see what the mirror reflects. The mirror is still in the same place, yet the view or perspective changes. That question of "Who am I really?" comes up quite often. It is not like I am completely lost in the big picture, it is just the little details are tedious and take time to figure out. The big picture is so massive and huge, yet sometimes it seems simpler, at the same time unreal, and untouchable... perhaps it is because it is still missing the details.
I have missed many blogs that should of been posting... will I fill in the crack to what block I am standing on? Maybe, I feel uncomfortable giving promises that I am unsure I may keep. I talked to a girl on the plane today. She was talking about getting a job and getting an apartment. She was tired of the relentless interviewing and filling out applications. Then, the question comes, where do you see yourself in 5 years. Ahhh that is the question isn't it. Why do people ask that question?!... Do they ask it to see if we will tell them what they want to hear, or the truth? I have no idea where I will be in 5 years!... Ahhh you don't know? Then you are not a visionary... hmmm pffff perhaps I am, and the big picture has no time line. They never see it that way. How about one of these days I'll say, well...that depends on if you give me this job or not. Each person we meet has an impact on our life, just like the choices we make.
I just got done watching an episode of the "Bachelor", there was a blogger on the show. That was her profession. She called herself the analyzer. She seemed wacked and lacking self confidence. She was beautiful, but her insecurities flowed out of her like a thread spool caught in the sewing machine wadding into a complete mess. I really hope that I don't come off that way... I suppose since I do have a blog now that I am considered a blogger, sending my thoughts and opinions full out into the virtual void. Lovely... I am grouped with her some how. Oh well, at least she got a rose at the end of the day. Not anybody can go crying into a bathroom and come out smelling like a "rose"... hahaha Why are puns so fun to make? Perhaps because the person making them gets the most humour out of them. Nobody else hardly thinks they are as funny as the pun giver... you will usually find the "punner" smirking at (what seems like a stroke of genius) ahhh ohhh well to each his own (* as I say smirking).
In life and wine, there must be growth, inconsistent weather, tender love and care, some stagnant times...(the fermenting), patience, tweaking, and then at the end of the day/life/wine... you hope it comes out with some zest, character, a good story, and a smile on your face for getting the pleasure to meet and greet it.
Here's to the next step, the unknown stone I stretch my foot out to meet.
Cheers,
... to be continued...
